We never talk about the workouts that pain us the most and simply “suck.” We never talk about when we want to quit or when those questioning thoughts enter into our heads:
“Why the heck do I this to myself? “Why do I wake at the crack of dawn to torture my body for 5 strait hours on Saturday?” “Why keep going?” “Its not like I’m going to the Olympics!” “I just want to go to brunch with those people who just drove past me in the convertible…”
I had one of those weekends. With a week full of hard efforts I hit a wall by Saturday. With just two miles into the bike I was feeling fatigued and knew it was going to be a long day… and it was. Determined to go the entire 60, I made Zach drag me through it. At first he was pushing me and yelling as he usually does, “C’mon Jules, I’m not going to let you be a slacker – Go!” But, about half way through he realized there was no hope for Jules today! :-/ And, by the time we hit 50 he was like, “You’re done. I’m making you quit. Right now you need to just stop!” But, I begged him to let me finish – reluctantly he did. I’m a slave to the workout plan and it said 60 dammit! I actually had a brick scheduled that day and had to run 4mi after! The whole day took me almost 5 hours which is pretty ridiculous. I had to keep stopping and pulling myself together. But, I was determined to cover the distance – which I did. Brick 60/4.
I know there will be weekends like this and days I can barely get out the door. Days I feel weak, tired, fatigued and defeated. But, I keep telling myself it’s the tough ones that make the difference — mentally stronger to reach the finish. Aww, the moment when you cross that finish line and tears well up in your eyes — not of pain but of sheer emotion – knowing it was all worth it!
Well, I guess I do know “why I’m out here?” 😉