This morning I find myself on the bike trainer barely pushing 100 watts feeling gutted from the migraine I woke up with… yet again. Even after months the addiction to the endorphins is still there… I refuse to let this chronic head pain rule my life.
Let me first share that YES – I’ve been to the top clinics and doctors in the country for treatments and taking the best RX’s available. But at some point this became my way of living – a headache every.single.day.
But you know what? I believe this is why I excel in endurance sports. I know pain. I know how it feels to have to PRESS ON in life and athletics when you want to stop, quit and throw in the towel. I have pulled myself to finish lines when my body was failing me – but it was my mind alone that got me to those finish lines. I’m proud of each and every race because I know *exactly* what I conquered to be there.
In training, my coach would have to adapt the program for my chronic head pain and at times migraines would really take me down. We had to MAXIMIZE the good days and work through my inconsistent energy levels since meds brought deep fatigue … but as a typical Type A triathlete I would muscle through more than I should…. But, those workouts probably provided me more in mental strength than any other workout. Again, I became very familiar working through the pain and weakness … building myself up to take on whatever was ahead.
After every race – a migraine would hit like clockwork. It was the perfect recipe – high heart rate, dehydration, lack of nutrition… I would fall hard and fast… usually there was no catching it. While most would be out celebrating I was downing more Gatorade, salt and a protein bar to try and abort the head pain…
Often times in the med tent I would plea to release me to get to my meds – but could not get out. This was the worst!
So often my tribe and Paul don’t know what to do with me… but what they don’t know is they already do so much! Holding my hand in the med tent, swinging back for me on the bike, slowing down to stay by my side on the run, helping me load/unload and drive to workouts. I appreciate everything so much !
If being injured has taught me anything, it’s that we should not walk alone. MANY of you have reached out to connect and I’m so thankful for that! So, that’s why I finally share this… not for recommendations or ‘poor Jules’ mentions. But to remind us that we all are struggling with ‘something’ – even if we cannot see it through the perfect Instagram lens – so take care of one another.
And if you’re working through something similar …
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.