Gym Goers: Meat Heads to the Creeper

After a rainy week with many of my workouts forced inside, I am reminded (and always amazed) by the varying types of people I see at the gym. I think it tends to switch up by morning-goers and evening-goers? But, I personally can’t speak to the evening scene myself.  I like to get up and go before my body fully wakes up and realizes what I’m doing 😉  And, working as a trainer for many years I have come to fully appreciate the several types of gym rats you’ll see lurking around the towel return…You have …

  • The Meat Heads: You can find them in the free weights in front of the mirror — usually drinking a mystery drink that I like to assume is protein? On top of grunting A LOT  they rock the tank top like it’s their job. A true meat head won’t be found on a cardio machine – ever. Yet, they sweat like they just stepped off the stair mill.


  • The Old Man:  Most often sweet and innocent, but can be disguised as the creeper. (See below.)  You’ll see the sweet old man with his newspaper getting in his “20 minutes of recommended heart-pumping cardio” on the stationary bike. But, usually spending more time drinking coffee and chatting than exercising. A little too flirty sometimes, but we still love them.


  • The LuLu Mom – They usually arrive (take over) around 9am when daycare opens and school starts. They look like they are going out to lunch or hitting the mall – not working out? Make-up done, hair done, looking just lovely! I haven’t quite figured out how they don’t sweat either? Their over-priced workout outfits match perfectly head to toe and while I’m a tad jealous – I know getting in an extra mile is more important to me than picking out the perfect gym attire.  (Note: Sometimes the beefcake chick (not mentioned) can be confused as the lulu mom. The beefcake chick will be rocking a sports bra only and teeny tiny shorts.)  They all just leave me speechless!


  • The Creeper- They are at every gym and there is no getting around them – sorry! You’ll usually find them by the ab mats because that’s where they get the best views. Gross, I know, but it’s the truth! They’ll usually have a gym bag to carry around too – although I haven’t quite figured that one out yet? Don’t start talking to them because you won’t get away….ever!


  • The Newbie – We’ve all been new at something before. But, for some reason newbies at the gym really stand out! They’ll usually be in a cotton tee with sorority or fraternity letters on it (because that’s probably the last time they hit the gym!) and be rocking some type of Steve Carell 450 New Balance shoes from 1999. They often times can’t figure out the “quick start” button on the cardio machines so they just keep trying with no display. I always help these folks out – and you should too!




Me on the other hand…I don’t fall into any of the typical categories. For example, today I’m wearing one of my twenty-five pairs of Nike tempo shorts. I am sweating so bad that it looks like I have quite literally wet myself. Yep. I also am rocking an old race t-shirt that usually brings up conversation with people I don’t want to talk.  Dude, I can’t talk while I am sucking wind on my intervals!   Yet, perhaps it’s my fault I continue to wear “Run the Rock” every week? I don’t have an ounce of make-up on and am always sporting a ratty sweat-soaked pony tail. And, if you’re lucky. Like today, I’ll have a headband to keep my hair from sticking directly to my forehead (sexy) and I might actually get a towel to keep from splattering all over my bike. But, that’s just on special occasions!  I usually leave a nice puddle.  





Julie SimonGym Goers: Meat Heads to the Creeper

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